TREFUSIS MINOR & THE FOOTBALL MATCH

Trefusis Minor went to see Chelsea play Crystal Palace today. It was an important father/son bonding moment: Mr Trefusis is an ardent Chelsea fan, and Trefusis Minor has never been to a match before, his mother always having been keen to shield his tender ears from the, erm, 'songs' football fans are wont to chant.

'How was it?' I ask Trefusis Minor on his return. 

'Loud and rude.' Says Trefusis Minor, loftily. 'I'm more of a rugby man. Rugby is a hooligan's game played by gentleman. Football is a gentlemen's game played by hooligans.'